{"id":11739,"date":"2022-05-07T07:18:27","date_gmt":"2022-05-07T17:18:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/?p=11739"},"modified":"2022-05-09T16:52:58","modified_gmt":"2022-05-10T02:52:58","slug":"celebrating-our-mothers-giving-thanks-on-mothers-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/2022\/05\/07\/celebrating-our-mothers-giving-thanks-on-mothers-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Celebrating Our Mothers, Giving Thanks on Mother\u2019s Day"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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by Edwin Quinabo

Susan Martin, 61, Kapolei, surprisingly said one of her most memorable Mother\u2019s Day happened when her mother was no longer alive.

The year immediately after Susan\u2019s mother Rowena had passed away in 2013, the Martins came together for a potluck dinner at her brother\u2019s house in Pearl City. The family were gathered in the backyard near the fire where her two brothers were barbecuing. It was a little after sunset, the last minutes before daylight would disappear. It was quiet. She said no one said anything, but at that moment, they all were thinking the same thing \u2013 how Mother\u2019s Day felt different, and how they missed her dearly. It was all so raw because Rowena had passed away on April 19 that year, just weeks short of celebrating another Mother\u2019s Day.

\u201cWe were all feeling empty. Mother\u2019s Day is the celebration to give gratitude to our mom. And what do you do when she is no longer here?\u201d said Martin.

Perhaps like the sunset that by now had disappeared fully \u2013 it was like that of Rowena\u2019s life. Their light of the family had faded away. It was as natural as nature\u2019s clock from dawn to dusk. But still, it hurt.

In spontaneity, one by one, she and her siblings started talking about cherished memories they had with their mother. \u201cMy youngest brother talked about on the very first day of school, the first day of kindergarten, he remembers that morning he was afraid to leave the house. He was already dressed, had his bag. He said he needed a hug but just stood still. \u00a0He said he remembers mom knelt down, said to him, \u2018Be a good boy. I\u2019ll be here waiting for you.\u2019\u201d (His older brothers would accompany him to and from school on the school bus.)

Just as he was about to leave Rowena embraced him tightly. My brother said he never forgot that moment, all the details down to the tee. What gave him courage is knowing she would be there after he returned from school.

Martin said this is what we knew of our mom. \u201cShe was always there waiting for us to come home. Because moms are like our home [representation], the safest place we knew throughout our youth, throughout our teenage and even adult life.\u201d

In the Philippines moms are often referred to as ilaw ng tahanan or light of the home.

\u201cWhen it came to my turn, I shared how I remember my mom\u2019s fondness for singing. She had a silky voice; and had won several song contests in her hometown in the Philippines. Her favorite song was Dahil Sa Iyo. She would sing it first in Tagalog, then in English. She sounded like Philippine songstress Pilita Corrales.\u201d

Martin said their conversation carried on into the night. But as it got darker, their hearts illuminated brighter with warmth story after story. \u201cThat was such a special Mother\u2019s Day because at that moment we knew our mother\u2019s presence would live on long until we are reunited. Like my brother\u2019s story, I am blessed with courage each day to carry on through challenging times because I know, in heaven, she is watching over us and waiting for us as she did in life,\u201d said Martin.

\u201cAnd what she would want as she told my brother many years ago, is for us to do good things for ourselves and others, until we are welcomed home into God\u2019s kingdom.\u201d

<\/strong><\/em>Mother\u2019s Day this year is on Sunday, May 8. In the United States it is always held on the second Sunday of May. Mothers are celebrated on different days worldwide; 50 countries dedicate a special day to honor mothers. In the United States it became a holiday in 1914.In the early days there was strong resistance to commercialization of Mother\u2019s Day. Reflection and praying were typical ways Americans celebrated Mother\u2019s Day. Before it became an official holiday, mothers in early US set aside a special day for mothers as a day of protest against war. Eventually this day became Mother\u2019s Day.

The origin is not a stretch from what the very nature of motherhood is \u2013 that of a protector of her children and family.Mother\u2019s Day had a political origin and was also looked upon as one of the first movements of American feminism. Women then argued that American holidays were biased toward male achievements; and women activists initiated a massive letter campaign to newspapers and prominent politicians to have a special day officially adopted to honor motherhood.

The official Father\u2019s Day was declared four years earlier in 1910.The campaign for equal recognition of parenthood that started by Anna Jarvis took six years before Mother\u2019s Day became an official holiday in the US.

Like mother like daughter
<\/em><\/strong>Surveys show the two most influential people in a person\u2019s life \u2013 from shaping lifestyle, religiosity, to values \u2013 are our mother and father.

Mother\u2019s Day is about showing gratitude for what? Nurturing. Guidance. Sacrifice. And ultimately for having a significant role of influence for shaping who we are as adults.

For Dr. Edna Bautista, a retired communications professor and former Hawaii resident now living in Houston, TX, her mother Elisa played a pivotal role in her career choice and religion.

Elisa was a lifelong career educator, her daughter Edna says. \u201cI was trying to be different from her. But she has demonstrated outstanding compassion, knowledge, leadership and organizational skills and won honors in her field. Who would not want to be like her who is loved by her family, students and co-workers?

\u201cShe is not only my role model as a mom and teacher but also a great example of what her colleagues\/peers aspire to be.\u201d

Elisa\u2019s influence as an educator also inspired her son Dennis to pursue a career in education. \u201cBoth my kids, Edna and Dennis, have earned their doctoral degrees and became mass communications professors. I\u2019m proud that they are successful in their careers and also stayed true to their Catholic faith,\u201d says Elisa, an Ewa Beach resident.

She said, \u201cMy family was not rich, but we were blessed with everything we needed. My husband and I had to sacrifice and work hard because it was important to us that they could go to college. So, the greatest reward was raising my kids and seeing them succeed in life.

\u201cIt was also a challenge to teach children about their faith in a secular world. I\u2019m happy my daughter and son are good, practicing Catholic-Christians and active in ministries.”

A\u00a02015 study<\/a>\u00a0in the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics found children whose parents expected them to go to college performed better on tests than parents with low expectations. The trend occurred among both wealthy and low-income families.

Further on parenting, Edna said, \u201cMy mother came to Hawaii when I was just a baby and raised me and my younger brother mostly on her own while our dad was on long deployments for the U.S. Navy.

\u201cShe sacrificed a lot and had to adapt to American culture because of us yet she also wanted her children not to forget our Filipino heritage. Eventually, we became involved in local Filipino media. My brother was a radio announcer at KNDI radio, and I still write for this newspaper.\u201d

Simple and meaningful Mother\u2019s Day
<\/em><\/strong>The Bautistas celebrated a simple and \u201cnot-so-fancy\u201d Mother\u2019s Day when her children were young, according to Elisa. \u201cWhen my kids were younger, we would start the day off with breakfast together. My husband would cook. And then we would go to church together as a family.

\u201cBut when you are older and everyone is far away, this type of typical day is something you just cherish everyday\u2014time and togetherness and not the material things, says Elisa.Edna recalls of her childhood celebrations with her mom.

\u201cAs children, we handcrafted cards and gifts for her Mother\u2019s Day. She preferred the personalized time, efforts and thoughtfulness from our hearts, instead of anything generically store-bought. Now we want more precious time to spend together.\u201dElisa agrees with Edna about spending precious time together. \u201cI wish I could be together with my entire family. But my children are far away and in different time zones. Luckily with today\u2019s technology, it helps that we can do FaceTime,\u201d says Elisa.

Virtual Mother\u2019s Day fun
<\/em><\/strong>FaceTime, Zoom, Messenger, WhatsApp, Skype and other chat apps have helped to enliven Mother\u2019s Day greetings and quality time spent while apart. Since the pandemic, people have come up with innovative ways to spend time with their moms on Mother\u2019s Day virtually.Some ideas:

1.) Watch her favorite movie together. Relive the old days. Enjoy a mother-daughter movie that you both watched together and loved. Unlike at the theater, you can both comment on parts to keep the experience exciting. If you both don\u2019t have a movie, there is always old family videos. Set those VHS machines up ahead of time if those tapes haven\u2019t been updated to DVD.

2.) Spend the entire dinner or lunch together. Why just chat for 15 minutes when you could all have a family meal together. This might take some coordination with time zones. But this experience will be worth the effort and a Mother\u2019s Day she will relish and never forget.

3.) Have a picnic. Phones are not called mobile phones for no reason. The home isn\u2019t the only place to have virtual fun. It\u2019s springtime so the weather is nice all across the mainland and in Hawaii. Schedule a picnic outing at the beach or park. You both can take in the sun, relax and chat over beautiful scenery.

4.) Manicure. Daughters, send your mother a manicure kit and buy one for yourself. So while you\u2019re catching up on life chatting, you both have something fun to do together.

5.) Open gifts together. One of the greatest satisfactions when giving a gift on Mother\u2019s Day is seeing her reaction opening it. Be creative when choosing a gift. A good lead is to find out what her latest hobby is then buy something relating to or essential for that hobby. If your mom has taken up painting lately, perhaps a canvas or two or art books would be something she could enjoy. The examples are endless. Be creative. You know your mother best.

6.)Tell your mother why you are thankful for her. Moms already know why, but it warms the heart to hear it sometimes. Have fun with it. Sing it to her on a karaoke machine. Or write it in the form of poetry. Don\u2019t worry about rhyme schemes and technical aspects of poetry. It could be free verse. Anything goes.

Edna says, \u201cI\u2019m thankful to God that my mom is still alive, healthy and strong\u2014she turned 80 earlier this year!\u201d\u00a0 Edna said she loves her mom for giving her a good family foundation, faith, education, guidance and life!

Thankful for passing on faith in God
<\/em><\/strong>Like the Bautistas, Susan attributes her strong faith in God to her mother. \u201cI\u2019m thankful for my mom exposing us to the Catholic faith and bringing us to church regularly. We all attended Sunday school then would go to church immediately after. That was our routine through our childhood and teens.

\u201cWhat I\u2019ve learned and practiced as a child, I\u2019ve also passed this on to my own children. I see how they\u2019ve relied on their faith in God throughout their lives. I\u2019m pleased to see this as a mother; and happy that they are college educated and live independent lives. My daughter is an registered nurse and son part of administration at a hospital,” said Martin.

Surveys confirm the strong influence parents have and pass on in the area of religion and beliefs. In a September 2020 survey conducted by Pew Research Center, about half of teens ages 13 to 17 say their parents have all the same religious beliefs as they do.\u00a0In the same survey, parents think that their teen\u2019s religious beliefs are similar to their own beliefs. About half (53%) of parents who responded to the survey say their children have \u201call the same\u201d religious beliefs as they do.

Philippine traditions on Mother\u2019s Day
<\/em><\/strong>Susan said when her mother was alive, the entire family would gather for Mother\u2019s Day. It\u2019s actually a Philippine tradition to have one large gathering for all moms — the immediate family, aunties, relatives and sometimes neighbors — to be honored.

Now that she\u2019s gone, she and her siblings celebrate Mother\u2019s Day separately with their own families, but on occasion, they will all get together to honor the memory of their deceased mother on Mother\u2019s Day.

Including deceased mothers as part of Mother\u2019s Day celebration is actually another Philippine tradition. Lighting a candle at church or visiting the grave site of a deceased mother is common to show respect and gratitude for Filipinos. The origin of this practice is distinctly Asian; most Asian countries practice varying degrees of ancestor veneration.

Originally Mother\u2019s Day in the Philippines was celebrated on December 8, on the day of the feast of the Immaculate Conception. In 1980, Mother\u2019s day was moved to the second Sunday of May to coincide with the American date.

One explanation for the change was for it to coincide with the American observance to accommodate the large Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) in the US.From Hawaii to the Philippines and around the world, the universal theme most say of Mother\u2019s day is to make our mothers feel special for the love they\u2019ve given us and for the gift of life itself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Edwin Quinabo Susan Martin, 61, Kapolei, surprisingly said one of her most memorable Mother\u2019s…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11696,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3,20,11],"tags":[],"featured_image_urls":{"full":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?fit=995%2C1093&ssl=1",995,1093,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?fit=273%2C300&ssl=1",273,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?fit=640%2C703&ssl=1",640,703,true],"large":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?fit=640%2C703&ssl=1",640,703,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?fit=995%2C1093&ssl=1",995,1093,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?fit=995%2C1093&ssl=1",995,1093,true],"ultp_layout_landscape_large":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?resize=995%2C800&ssl=1",995,800,true],"ultp_layout_landscape":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?resize=870%2C570&ssl=1",870,570,true],"ultp_layout_portrait":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?resize=600%2C900&ssl=1",600,900,true],"ultp_layout_square":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?resize=600%2C600&ssl=1",600,600,true],"covernews-slider-full":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?resize=697%2C715&ssl=1",697,715,true],"covernews-slider-center":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?resize=522%2C500&ssl=1",522,500,true],"covernews-featured":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?fit=995%2C1093&ssl=1",995,1093,true],"covernews-medium":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?resize=540%2C285&ssl=1",540,285,true],"covernews-medium-square":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?resize=375%2C250&ssl=1",375,250,true]},"author_info":{"info":["admin"]},"category_info":"Cover Story<\/a> Featured<\/a> Hawaii - Filipino<\/a>","tag_info":"Hawaii - Filipino","comment_count":"0","jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Coverstory-color_05072022.jpg?fit=995%2C1093&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11739"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11739"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11739\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11772,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11739\/revisions\/11772"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11739"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11739"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11739"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}