{"id":19580,"date":"2023-09-03T05:48:17","date_gmt":"2023-09-03T15:48:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/?p=19580"},"modified":"2023-09-03T05:48:18","modified_gmt":"2023-09-03T15:48:18","slug":"love-is-not-blind-lovers-simply-accept-the-beloveds-imperfections","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/2023\/09\/03\/love-is-not-blind-lovers-simply-accept-the-beloveds-imperfections\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Is Not Blind, Lovers Simply Accept The Beloved\u2019s Imperfections"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

by Emmanuel S. Tipon, Esq.<\/em> <\/em><\/strong>

<\/strong>\u201cBut love is blind and lovers cannot see<\/em>
<\/strong>The pretty follies that themselves commit;\u201d<\/em>
\u2013 Shakespeare in The Merchant of Venice, 1596\u201cI don’t make love by the garden gate, <\/em>For love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t.\u201d<\/em>
\u2013 J. Mason Brewer in Worser Days and Better Times<\/em>, 1965\u201cWe may not be perfect, but we are perfect for each other.\u201d
<\/em>\u2013 Passionate Ilocano lawyer\u2019s plea to his beloved to come live with him and be his love, 2023

The high water mark in this \u201clove is blind\u201d or accepting the beloved\u2019s imperfections rationale was demonstrated last week in Honolulu where a husband and wife were pictured holding hands as they left a courtroom after the husband\u2019s trial for allegedly murdering the acupuncturist of his wife with whom she was reportedly having an affair.

It ended with a hung jury. The husband will be retried. The husband apparently loved his wife, but he was not blind. He simply accepted his wife\u2019s imperfection. Adultery is the most serious imperfection in a husband-and-wife relationship.

Should this incident make us wary of acupuncturists? The contact between an acupuncturist and a patient is very intimate. There is a lot of touching. Touching in one part could lead to other parts. They could be acupuncturing something else beyond what they ought to be acupuncturing. Cuidado<\/em>. There might be decent acupuncturists. Fuera de los buenos<\/em>.

An Ilocano lawyer was once asked by a friend to help reconcile him with his attractive wife who had strayed from the path of righteousness. The friend told the lawyer that he was willing to take back his wife.

Apparently, he had accepted his wife\u2019s imperfection. The lawyer arranged the meeting in a romantic San Francisco restaurant. The lawyer succeeded in reconciling the couple.

Later the friend called the lawyer saying that he could not make love with his wife anymore. Whenever he tried to make love with her, he imagined his wife and his paramour making love. He suffered from erectile dysfunction. They eventually divorced.

When people see a good-looking man and a woman who is not pretty or even ugly \u2013 I am not necessarily talking about royalty or presidents \u2013 they are likely to say \u201cAh, love is blind\u201d.

The same reaction might be evoked when they see a good-looking woman and a nondescript man. Love is not blind, the better-looking person simply accepts the other person\u2019s imperfection.

Similarly, when an attractive young woman is seen with a wrinkled old man or when a good-looking young man is seen with an unattractive female companion who looks twice his age, people might react by asking \u201cWhat does she see in him?\u201d or \u201cWhat does he see in her?\u201d The young woman and the young man are not blind. They simply accept their beloved\u2019s imperfection.

Are lovers crazy or fools?
<\/strong>There is a litany of imperfections of a beloved from the most blatant \u2013 like adultery \u2013 to the most obvious \u2013 like age and appearance \u2013 that one can think of. There are scores of imperfections that are present in every love relationship. Love is not blind. The lover simply accepts these imperfections of the beloved.

Is the lover crazy? Perhaps, like \u201cI am crazy about you.\u201d

Is the lover a fool? Maybe. As Frank Sinatra crooned while pursuing Ava Gardner:

\u201cI’m a fool to want you
I\u2019m a fool to want you
To want a love that can’t be true
A love that’s there for others too
I’m a fool to hold you
Such a fool to hold you
To seek a kiss not mine alone
To share a kiss the Devil has known.\u201d

Love suppresses critical thought
<\/strong>There is a supposedly intelligent lawyer pursuing a teenager whose only obvious qualification is her beauty. The lawyer says the girl is also intelligent. The lawyer is also seeing other women one of whom, in the opinion of others, is more mature and more beautiful than the teenager.

What is the rationale? Modern-day research supports the view that blindness of love is not just a figurative matter. A research study in 2004 by the University College London found that feelings of love suppressed the activity of the areas of the brain that control critical thought.

There you have it. Love suppresses critical thought.

How do you know you love her?
<\/strong>Here are some evidences of true love.

1. You think of her when you wake up, when you go to sleep, when you are eating, when you are driving, when you are talking with others, when arguing in court if you are a lawyer, or when operating on a patient if you are a doctor.

2. She breathes the breath of life into you.

3. She inspires you to do things that would make her proud of you.

4. You want to know all about her.

5. You are willing to do anything to please her.

6. You are prepared to give all your time to her.     

7. You want her to be happy and see her smile.

8. You want to be with her all the time.

9. When she hurts you, you like to think that she did not intend to do so or has a valid explanation.

Immigration officers\u2019 reaction to dissimilarities
<\/strong>How do immigration officers react to couples who seek immigration benefits with blatant dissimilarities \u2013 in appearance, age, and other matters? They do not believe in this \u201clove is blind\u201d thing. Nor such thing as \u201clovers simply accepting the beloved\u2019s imperfections\u201d.

Immigration officers see \u201cmarriage fraud\u201d. Immigration officers have in their minds a stereotype of what constitutes a bona fide marriage – same race or ethnicity, same background, same pleasant looks, and the man is a few years older than the woman.

If there is a significant age gap, and especially if the man is over 60 it is believed that the man cannot consummate a marriage because of erectile dysfunction

Furthermore, they do not believe that a very young woman (the alien) really wants to marry a much older man for love. On the other hand, if the woman is much older than her husband, and even more so if the younger man (the alien) is better looking than the woman, it is even worse.

It will be difficult to convince immigration officials that the man married the older woman for love.

RECOMMENDATION:<\/strong> If you and your spouse do not fit the immigration stereotype of what constitutes a bona fide marriage and you wish to seek immigration benefits, it is best to consult with a lawyer who has the experience and skill to convince immigration officials that your marriage is bona fide.

ATTY. EMMANUEL S. TIPON<\/strong> was a Fulbright and Smith-Mundt scholar to Yale Law School where he obtained a Master of Laws degree specializing in Constitutional Law. He graduated with a Bachelor of Laws degree from the University of the Philippines. He placed third in the 1955 bar examinations. He is admitted to practice before the U.S. Supreme Court, New York, and the Philippines. He practices federal law, with emphasis on immigration law and appellate federal criminal defense. He was the Dean and a Professor of Law of the College of Law, Northwestern University, Philippines. He has written law books and legal articles for the world\u2019s most prestigious legal publisher and writes columns for newspapers. He wrote the annotations and case notes to the Immigration and Nationality Act published by The Lawyers Co-operative Publishing Co. and Bancroft Whitney Co. He wrote the best-seller “Winning by Knowing Your Election Laws.\u201d Listen to The Tipon Report which he co-hosts with his son Attorney Emmanuel \u201cNoel\u201d Tipon.  They talk about immigration law, criminal law, court-martial defense, politics, and current events. It is considered the most witty, interesting, and useful radio show in Hawaii. KNDI 1270 AM band every Thursday at 8:00 a.m.  Atty. Tipon was born in Laoag City, Philippines. Cell Phone (808) 225-2645.  E-Mail: filamlaw@yahoo.com. Website: https:\/\/www.tiponimmigrationguide.com   The information provided in this article is not legal advice. Publication of this information is not intended to create, and receipt by you does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Emmanuel S. Tipon, Esq. \u201cBut love is blind and lovers cannot seeThe pretty follies…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19562,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"featured_image_urls":{"full":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?fit=1600%2C900&ssl=1",1600,900,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?resize=150%2C150&ssl=1",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?fit=300%2C169&ssl=1",300,169,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1",640,360,true],"large":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1",640,360,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?fit=1536%2C864&ssl=1",1536,864,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?fit=1600%2C900&ssl=1",1600,900,true],"ultp_layout_landscape_large":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?resize=1200%2C800&ssl=1",1200,800,true],"ultp_layout_landscape":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?resize=870%2C570&ssl=1",870,570,true],"ultp_layout_portrait":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?resize=600%2C900&ssl=1",600,900,true],"ultp_layout_square":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?resize=600%2C600&ssl=1",600,600,true],"covernews-slider-full":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?resize=1115%2C653&ssl=1",1115,653,true],"covernews-slider-center":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?resize=522%2C500&ssl=1",522,500,true],"covernews-featured":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?fit=1024%2C576&ssl=1",1024,576,true],"covernews-medium":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?resize=540%2C285&ssl=1",540,285,true],"covernews-medium-square":["https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?resize=375%2C250&ssl=1",375,250,true]},"author_info":{"info":["admin"]},"category_info":"What's up, Attorney?<\/a>","tag_info":"What's up, Attorney?","comment_count":"0","jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/09\/romance.jpg?fit=1600%2C900&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19580"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19580"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19580\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19581,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19580\/revisions\/19581"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19562"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thefilipinochronicle.com\/backup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}