Ohana: The Center Of The Universe

by Elpidio R. Estioko

“Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind.” 

I heard the sentence first from my children Tweety and Paul and from my son-in-law Jonathan, when my wife Delia and I visited them eight years ago in their residence in Mililani, Oahu, Hawaii.

Then, I learned that the word was popularized in English after I watched the 2022 Disney film, Lilo & Stitch.

Ohana is a Hawaiian word referring to a person’s extended family, which can include friends and other important social groups.

The bonding, in every encounter among ohana, whether it be long drives, physical sports, walking, trekking, mountain climbing, river trips, island hopping, etc., is always so intimate and affectionate that no amount of physical strain and sleepless nights could have spoiled the fun and warmth the family had after long years of not being together due to physical boundaries.

In another instance, ohana, describing relationship networks, carries a certain responsibility.

When you are part of an ohana, you have an obligation to take care of those in your circles, and they have an obligation to take care of you.

In the context of a family, this can mean respecting your elders or caring for children within the family.

In a work ohana, colleagues share obligations. More generally, a member of any type of ohanais expected to behave honorably and avoid bringing shame to the group.

Despite the discreetness of American society, the family is still recognized as the institution where everything that we do and need in life such as education, relationships, values, responsibility, and work is the center of the universe.

I have been watching the TV series Blue Bloods, about a family of cops in the city of New York, and they always end up at a long table for dinner at the end of the day and discuss various issues relating to their work, themselves, school, and current issues.

Every member of the family puts in his/her one-cent worth of knowledge for every topic they are faced with at the dining table.

I also remember in the past, when we were still young, we did the same practice (with a family of 16: father, mother, grandmother, and 13 children) gathered at a long table for dinner, and discussed things while eating.

This was the old practice, and the Blue Bloods experience must be the contemporary practice. So, the family is still the center of the universe, old and new!

In fact, even Pope John Paul 11 and Pope Benedict XL1 stressed the importance of the family “in the life of the church and of society.”

Pope John Paul said before a packed congregation in St. Peter’s Basilica: “The family has always been the center of attention of my venerable predecessors, especially Pope John 11. He was convinced, and I reiterated it many times, that the crisis within the family comes at the grave detriment of our civilization.”

Parenting has always been the center stage, not only for full-time parents but also for working moms and dads. Because of the role they play, Mother’s Day is celebrated every second Sunday of May and Father’s Day is celebrated every third Sunday of July, to commemorate their parenting efforts.

Family reunions also have been treasured by families all over the world.

“To us, it is the time of the year that we renew our common memories and get better acquainted with more relatives. The family is so huge that we wanted to be with them so often. They all have something to add to enhance our lives. We are like never-ending book, so to speak, that gets closer to completion every reunion but generates greater interest every time we meet,” my children chorused.

Even when our family members are dispersed in different places because they already have their own families, we can always connect with them via Zoom, emails, letters, video conferences, etc.

That’s the wonder of the internet – it makes things possible by breaking the physical boundaries that separate us.

That’s what we do! My eldest Gigi, with her husband Eric, are in Sydney, Australia, but they always keep in touch with us, not only during special occasions but every now and then. So, with my son Jojo (with his wife Alvi and children Kayla and Bibay) from Jacksonville, Florida, they are also always in touch with us.

My daughter Tweety (with husband Jonathan and the soon-to-be-four-year-old daughter Ellie by March) is also always in touch. They lived in South Carolina for four years and will be relocating back to Oahu, Hawaii where my youngest son Paul is likewise residing in Kapolei, Hawaii.

My other daughter May (with Steve) is also living in Manteca, California where they bought their house last year. They make sure that they visit us once a week and are always present on special occasions.

Of course, my son Jayson, who graduated from San Francisco State University is with us at our Milpitas ancestral home.

Family matters… then and now!

ELPIDIO R. ESTIOKO was a veteran journalist in the Philippines and an award-winning journalist here in the US. He just published his book Unlocking the chain of Poverty: In Pursuit of the American Dream which is now available with Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Xlibris Publishing. For feedbacks, comments… please email author at estiokoelpidio@gmail.com.