Perpetuating our Filipino culture, passing aspects of it down generationally – no matter how important we think they are – is always at risk and not as unshakeable as we think. For Filipinos in the diaspora who are removed from the Philippines (where our culture is the dominant one there), our unique ethnic culture is at even greater risk of surviving in our new social environment in the U.S. and elsewhere.
To begin, characteristics of our ethnic culture at times differentiate from the greater society and there is a high level of expectation for assimilation. In the process of assimilation, our culture, our parents’ ways of thinking, what they value are challenged where there are contradictions. This is already an innate challenge from generation to generation in mainstream American society as old ideas are replaced with new ones. So, how much more successful can certain beliefs from another country like the Philippines be passed down to our children?
Often certain traditions are deemed “old fashion,” “illogical,” or worse off, “superstitious.” In such situations, there is a separation between us and of our heritage, a separation from our past, and even more personal at times, a separation from our parents or ourselves. First generation children often describe this and say they experience a sense of alienation. Then the course they often take is to abandon tradition to squash this alienating feeling.
Passing on culture generationally takes work and role modeling
The reality is it takes work, nurturing and role modeling to successfully transmit through generations the ethnic culture we cherish. Not only must we articulate to our children and younger generation the reason behind certain expressions of culture, but to be specific as to why they are important and beneficial in the context of today’s society.
Undas: it’s significance and meaning
Take for example the recent Undas observance (Nov 1 and 2) or in the West it’s called All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day. Filipinos each year celebrate Undas to pay our respects and appreciation for our dearly departed by visiting their grave and attend Mass or hold a vigil in their honor. The celebration could be more elaborate and involve a family get together over lunch or dinner where storytelling and reflection of our dearly departed takes place.
The why or reasons for celebrating Undas are straightforward and clear as stated above. However, a deeper explanation of what’s really happening reinforces the true importance of Undas and increases this tradition’s chances of transmission generationally. And parents should articulate them to their children. What’s really happening with Undas? What are its practical benefits?
Healing, Family Unity
Studies show that social support helps in the grieving process. In times when the death of a loved one is fresh, Undas is an ideal social setting for the bereaved to lean on each other and ease the tenderness of their souls hurt by loss.
Through sincere caring, empathetic words and the physical embrace or wiping off of tears there can be profound healing. In a setting like a cemetery where the remains rest of our loved ones, there are feelings of closeness to the departed that makes such expressions of care and empathy even more profound emotionally and psychologically. Undas provides a safe and appropriate place and time for both – group healing and at a cemetery — to happen.
If that isn’t utilitarian enough for Undas to be valued and passed on generationally, this second reason perhaps is more powerful than the purpose of healing.
Undas strengthens family bonds. Think about what this tradition is saying – that even beyond death, family unity remains intact. As long as Filipino culture values the cohesive unit of family, the practice of Undas in its many expressions, can survive.
When children accompany their parents to a cemetery to honor their deceased grandparents, they are taught a lesson of life’s fragility and the inescapable reality that their parents, too, will be in that situation. Furthermore, that eventually they will assume the role of their parents, place flowers and say prayers over their parents’ tombstones. Undas, in this vein, is role modeling honor, respect and gratitude.
There are modern practices of Undas that do not involve a cemetery visit. In today’s trend where migration is commonplace and many of us are living in states away from our deceased loved one’s burial site, Undas can still be practiced effectively like holding a vigil and luncheon or dinner in honor of our deceased loved ones.
It is a religious holiday
Beyond the cultural expression and psychological benefits of Undas, parents should be teaching their children that ultimately Undas is a religious practice of our Catholic faith and that our prayers are reaffirmations that we believe in God, we believe in an afterlife, and that we believe in our eventual reunification with our loved ones who’ve passed on. Let’s keep our Filipino culture alive, our Undas celebrations.
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