Happy Father’s Day! Thank You Dads For All Your Love and Support

Out of all the important roles in society, many would put fatherhood among the top.  Glorious, inglorious, loaded with selflessness, pressure and responsibility – fatherhood is a tough job of a lifetime. How a father fulfils this role, there must always be context to consider.  For many in our Filipino community, our fathers are immigrants dealing with transition, assimilation and often experience discrimination because of their accent. The immigrant status adds extra stress onto fathers, who also must be a financial provider in Hawaii, one of the most expensive states in the nation.

Fathers are our security blanket growing up.  He is usually tasked to bring order to the family as the prime disciplinarian. But especially in contemporary times, the disciplinarian father must find a reasonable balance between enforcing rules strictly and instead inspiring our children to do what’s best.  In the latter, our father is a teacher of life who guides his children to understanding the big important things that matter like love, justice, fairness, truth.  And on practical matters like how to earn a living that can be both satisfying and prosperous.

For most fathers, their parental guidance is truly rooted in love.  But as imperfect as human beings are, fathers often do not communicate as effectively as they should; and children often misinterpret or get confused about what is expected of them.

In the older traditional ways, a father might have been raised to believe that parents do not owe their children an explanation of certain matters. To them, too much talking or questions from their children is an act of defiance and entitlement. For their children, particularly among the youngest generation, such thinking by their fathers is archaic, a cause of friction, even perceived as abusive.

Most households still have both parents present
Without a doubt, households with two parents sharing responsibilities and resources contribute to a more stable and secure environment for their children.

Data from the 2016 Current Population Survey Annual Social and Economic Supplement shows of the 11 million families with children under age 18, and no spouse present, the majority are single mothers (8.5 million). Single fathers comprise the remaining 2.5 million single-parent families. Married couples make up 68 percent of all families with children under age 18, compared to 93 percent in 1950.

Using data from the U.S. Census American Community Survey 2018 five-year estimates, Stacker ranks Hawaii as a state among the lowest rates of single-parent households. The total of single-parent households is 30,418 (6.7% of all households), single mom households: 21,225 (4.6% of all households, #50 highest among states), single dad households: 9,193 (2.0% of all households, #43 highest).

Stacker did not break down data of single parenting by race in Hawaii. But we can infer that Filipinos follow the overall trend of less single parenting in Hawaii compared to the mainland, which is encouraging for the family unit.

Higher rates of single parenting in other studies show Black and Hispanics have higher rates of single parenting, which could explain or at least contribute to both these groups lower educational attainment. Generally, students from stable households tend to go on to college. And higher levels of education usually correlate to higher income earning potential and a host of other socio-economic benchmarks.

Therefore, going forward the active presence of a father-and-mother household bodes well for our Filipino community.

Father’s Day
Typically, when asked specifically what people are thankful for on Father’s Day, often we hear something like, “My father was my role model growing up. He taught me by example how to overcome challenges, how to be strong, to believe in myself, and that I could do and be anything I want.”

We commonly hear children expressing a desire to be like their father and mother in most cases. However, often it takes maturity before children can fully understand and appreciate effective parenting.

This Father’s Day we encourage our community to celebrate their dads and express to them their crucial role in the family.

For many devout Catholics in our community, we were raised to appreciate fatherhood by the father-son/child relationship God has with His son Jesus. That relationship is so important that they are one and the same. And as parents, teaching our children about this relationship between God and Jesus could inculcate in their minds and values-set just how significant it is to be an active father-role model.  It should be emphasized that fatherhood is a sacred bond between a father and his children.  It’s not just biological, but sacred.

Happy Father’s Day to all our dads. Thank you for all that you do to make our lives better and easier. Enjoy your special day.