Fatherhood is often learned through example. A son watches his father, absorbs his values, and one day passes them on to his own children. But what happens when a father grows up without a father?
Wilfredo “Weng” Del Rosario grew up in a broken home. His mother became pregnant with his older brother at just fifteen years old. Less than two years later, Weng was born. While he was still young, his parents separated. Both eventually worked overseas, leaving Weng and his older brother in the care of their paternal grandparents.
Later, even his grandfather left to work abroad as an OFW. Weng and his brother were then raised by their grandmother, along with various aunts and uncles. Growing up, Weng had very few memories of his father caring for him. What he remembered instead were the toys, clothes, chocolates, and other gifts that arrived from afar. The absence of a father’s presence left a void that material things could never fill.
Without strong parental guidance, Weng spent much of his youth with friends who became his primary influence. At an early age, he was introduced to smoking, drinking, womanizing, and drugs. Like many young men searching for belonging, he looked for direction in all the wrong places.
Fast forward to age twenty-six. Just ten months into our relationship, I became pregnant. Weng was unemployed and completely unprepared to start a family. Overwhelmed by fear, he even planned to leave me and our son after the baby was born. The responsibilities of being both a husband and a father felt impossible. How could he become something he had never seen modeled before?
But God had other plans. While I was pregnant, Weng and I began attending a Christian church. There, for the first time, Weng encountered the unconditional love of God the Father. He discovered that although he lacked an earthly example of fatherhood, he had a perfect Heavenly Father who could teach him what it meant to love, lead, and care for a family. This realization changed everything.
The years that followed were not easy. Raising four children while serving as a campus missionary and later as a youth leader demanded tremendous sacrifice. There were seasons when ministry responsibilities competed with family time. There were mistakes, failures, and lessons learned the hard way. Yet God faithfully provided mentors who walked alongside him and modeled biblical fatherhood.
Through their guidance and God’s grace, Weng gradually became the father he never had. Today, he enjoys a healthy and loving relationship with each of our four children. Watching him interact with them is a testimony that a person’s past does not have to dictate their future.
As Weng and I continue our parenting journey, I often think of my own father. Like Weng, my dad also grew up in a dysfunctional family. For much of his childhood, he believed that his grandfather was his father, while his biological mother was introduced to him as his older sister. He, too, grew up without experiencing the security and affection of a father’s love.
As a result, my siblings and I were raised by a father who provided well but struggled to express affection. He was present, yet quality time was rare. He brought us to church, but I cannot recall many conversations about faith. He worked hard to give us good opportunities, yet rarely spoke words that inspired us to pursue our dreams.
It was only after I started my own family that I began to recognize the depth of my father’s love. Maturity allowed me to see what I could not see as a child: he was giving us everything he knew how to give. That realization led me to a profound truth. Both my father and my husband struggled to become fathers because neither of them had been fathered themselves.
And yet, both became good fathers. Not perfect fathers. Not flawless fathers. But fathers who chose to love their children despite the gaps in their own upbringing. Fathers who worked hard to provide, protect, and care. Fathers who refused to let their wounds define the next generation.
I praise God for placing us in a Christian community where fatherhood is modeled after the love of God.
“Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.”
— Psalm 27:10
Although Weng never experienced an extraordinary earthly father who could teach him how to become one, he found an extraordinary Heavenly Father who showed him the way. Today, the love he gives our children is genuine, sacrificial, and life-giving. The love my own father gave my siblings and me, though imperfectly expressed, was enough to make us feel secure and blessed.
This Father’s Day, I honor both my dad and my husband. They were men who grew up deprived of a father’s love, yet chose to become loving fathers themselves. Their lives remind me that our past does not have to determine our future, and that God can redeem even the deepest generational wounds. Indeed, it is only through the transforming power of our Heavenly Father that the unfathered can become the fathers God designed them to be.
TIFFANY ROSE DEL ROSARIO is the Executive Director of Gabay sa Landas (GALA) Foundation Inc., a temporary shelter for impoverished, abandoned, and neglected children. Her husband, Weng Del Rosario, heads Elevate Movement Inc., leading the #NotAlone Program and Tama Youth Organization, which help equip young people to navigate life’s challenges and become responsible citizens. Together, they serve as volunteer ministry workers at CCF East Ortigas.
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