Fighting For Forever

by Seneca Moraleda-Puguan

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.”

These were the famous words Noah spoke to Allie in one of my favorite books, The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks.

Back then, those lines made my heartthrob with “kilig.” But now, as someone who has been married for eleven years this February, they have taken on a deeper, more profound meaning.

Marriage is not easy. Just as Noah said, it’s something a husband and wife must work at every single day.

Too often, I read or hear heartbreaking stories of marriages crumbling, leaving behind broken homes and children growing up without one or both parents.

After more than a decade of marriage, I know that I still have much to learn.

My husband, John, and I continue to discover new things about ourselves and each other. But through all the joys and challenges, there are a few invaluable lessons that have shaped our marriage and strengthened our love.

Communication: The Bridge to Understanding

We believe that communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Without it, even the strongest marriage can falter.

Men and women are wired differently, and the way we communicate often contrasts sharply. I remember struggling in our early years—expecting John to just know what I was feeling, only to end up frustrated when he didn’t.

It took time, patience, and reminders from him that I needed to express my thoughts and emotions clearly.

I have since learned to be bold in communicating, and in turn, our relationship has deepened.

Misunderstandings still happen, but now, we approach them with open dialogue instead of silent assumptions.

Intimacy: More Than Just Time Together

With the busyness of life, careers, and parenting, it’s easy for couples to drift apart. That’s why we make it a point to nurture intimacy—not just physical, but emotional and spiritual as well.

After our children go to bed, we carve out time just for us. Sometimes it’s as simple as watching a Korean drama together, sharing about our day, or simply enjoying each other’s presence in comfortable silence.

We are each other’s best friend and confidante.

Prioritizing our time together, no matter how small the moment may seem, strengthens the bond we share and reminds us why we chose each other in the first place.

Humility: Choosing “Us” Over “Me”

If there’s one thing that’s truly difficult in marriage, it’s this—laying oneself down for another.

Being humble, apologizing first, and prioritizing your spouse over yourself are easy to say but hard to practice.

As human beings, we are naturally selfish. We want to be right. We want to be understood before we try to understand. Yet, true love in marriage requires humility.

It means recognizing when pride is getting in the way, choosing grace over ego, and valuing peace over winning an argument. Growth happens when both partners are willing to admit faults, extend forgiveness, and choose love—even when it’s difficult.

Keeping God at the Center

Even before we got married, we made a decision: God would always be our first priority.

Without Him, not only would marriage be difficult—it wouldn’t last. We cannot give what we do not have.

The love we extend to each other is only an overflow of the love we receive from Love Himself.

Emotions fade, seasons change, and trials come, but our faith keeps our bond unbreakable. He is our third strand, the foundation that keeps us strong when life gets overwhelming.

A Marriage That Reflects God’s Love

Our prayer is that as we continue to nurture our marriage, our children will learn from us—seeing firsthand what commitment, respect, and faithfulness look like.

We hope to set an example of a love that endures, so they, too, will build flourishing marriages of their own one day. More than anything, we pray that our marriage brings honor and glory to God.

That in a world filled with brokenness, we can be a testament to the truth that marriage, when built on the right foundation, can last.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

– Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

May love reign in our marriages and our lives. Because in the end, despite the challenges and the work it takes – love and our fight for forever – is always worth it.